Daybook 20 December

Looking out my window ~  The wind is blowing leaves through the air like snow, and there's a small stampede of orange and yellow running down the middle of the street, with strays wandering up my driveway

I am thinking ~ of this time two years ago when joyous things were happening around me (my dear brown-eyed boy was marrying his love) but there was sadness and some fears happening within me (my husband would be served with divorce papers when we returned from this trip)  Knowing all that occurred in the following weeks, I treasure the peace of that day even more.

I am thankful ~ that God is SOVEREIGN.  He has absolute control over all.  He allows unimaginable things to happen, yet there is no limit to his grace and mercy.   An unsolvable conundrum that has preserved my life

One of my favorite things ~ is my Wednesday date with my mom.  She literally dedicated a year of her life to me and now that the day-to-day struggles are over, we have a weekly date to just spend time together

I am creating ~ a scarf for my beautiful daughter-in-love and getting it in the mail today

I am watching ~ Seven Brides for Seven Brothers with sweet son #3

I am hoping ~ to get the Christmas tree up today.  Don't like the work of putting it up but so enjoy looking at it and the glittering lights that brighten the room and my spirit

I am learning ~ how to balance life.  Perspective is probably the best word.  It is so easy to become overwhelmed with all the heartbreaking memories, both things that were in your control and things that absolutely weren't.  But recognizing the hundreds of small joys: family, friends, a smile, the beauty of God's creation and creatures, remembering simple things that make it all worth the struggle.  Each day brings new challenges and new rewards, too

Closing Notes:   If I knew then what I know now.  What a thought.  Yes, so much I would have done differently.  But, in doing things differently, would I have necessarily ended up in a better place?  Or in doing it differently, would I simply have continued the path that I had been on for so many, many years and remained captive in a situation that someone else was controlling?  If, if, if. 
I know for certain that in going through the deepest valley of my life, I saw the Lord from a different perspective; realized the depths of his power and his infinite grace.  And I know for certain that I am in a better place today because of all that I went through, both for me and my children.  We survived.  Now we get to live